


Lost in Translation

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Dirty Jokes, Gen, Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 11:44:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16912266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Bofur, Bifur, and Bombur have some things they still need to get for their journey to the lonely mountain.  While in town, Bofur decides to have a little fun at Bifur’s expense.





	Lost in Translation

**Author's Note:**

> Remember, that Bifur (with his axe imbedded in that thick skull of his) speaks only in ancient Khuzdul. To keep myself from butchering it, I have just put the English translation of his words in italics.

“Alright, lads.  We have only a few more things to get and we will be ready to go.”  Bofur said as he looked over the list his brother had made earlier in the week.  It was going to be a long trip to Erebor, probably with many perils to face, so they did their best to stay organized to ensure they had everything the needed. 

 

Most of the items on the list were food and medicine, some weaponry.  All that was left now was a couple miscellaneous items and some things they wanted personally.  Like Bombur wanted some special spices and Bifur wanted some wood or whittling on the road.  

 

They travelled as a group through the market of the Blue Mountains.  The market was always bustling with life.  It almost made Bofur sad to think of them leaving.  He always enjoyed the chatter of his kin, the laughter of the young ones as they played or enjoyed a treat.  But it was for the best, he thought to himself.  It was worth it to reclaim the ancient home. 

 

They made their way to the first stop, the spices shop.  Bofur and Bifur held back as Bombur haggled with the trader, trying to get the best deal for his coin. 

 

“ _It seems like a fools errand to be getting such spices.  We won’t be needing them on the journey.”_   Bifur muttered under his breath.  It was almost silent, allowing only Bofur to hear.

 

“Oh, leave him be.  It gives him a bit of joy.  Weighs hardly anythin’.  Let him have it.”  Bofur responded with a quick smile.  “Besides, you don’t really need those wood blocks either, do you?” 

 

Bifur just huffed and crossed his arms as they waited for a bit longer, until Bombur had settled on prices and had herbs and spices stuffed in his pocket. 

 

“Alright now, cousin!  Let’s get your carvin’ wood!”  Bombur said cheerfully as he led the two away to a stand a bit further down. 

 

“ _Too excited for my tastes_.”  Bifur said quickly, staring forward at Bombur as he practically bounced down the path. 

 

“Oh, he’s just havin’ a bit of fun.  Nothin’ wrong with that.”  Bofur said cheerfully.  “Come on now, let’s see that smile!”  He nudged Bifur’s arm, who only scoffed before stomping forward toward Bombur. 

 

They passed many stands, some selling food and baked goods, making the surrounding air smell sweet and savory depending on what was there.  There were stands with toys and weapons and trinkets, all that brought smiles to passerby faces and joy to the land.  But it was at the final stand, a stand selling different shapes and kinds of special wood for whittling, did Bofur find time to truly laugh. 

 

Bifur looked over the wears for a bit before nodding and signaling Bofur over for translation.  He hated he had to do it.  He hated that since his…injury…he hadn’t been able to speak common tongue.  Not many knew the ancient tongue of his people, which left him with little choice when he needed to converse with others.  He had to rely on his cousin.

 

“I’ll translate for him, if ya don’t mind, miss.”  Bofur gave the lady who was working a happy smile and a wink.  Bofur let his eyes wander over her for a second, taking into account how beautiful she was.  Such a pretty little lass, probably helping her brother, or husband, or such by working the stand.

 

“Please, take your time.”  The lady spoke gently, giving a nod to both of them as she waited patiently for them to speak of what they wished. 

 

Bofur turned to Bifur as he began to spoke.  He was looking at the young woman before speaking. “ _You have great quality wares here.  How much for the white wood?_ ”  Bifur asked to the woman before turning to Bofur and nodding.

 

Bofur sighed as he smiled.  Give it to Bifur to get right to the chase.  He opened his mouth to repeat what Bifur had spoken, but then stopped and thought for a moment, turning to his cousin with a mischievous smile spreading across his face and into his long mustache. 

 

Bifur gave his cousin a strange look, questioning what he was doing.  Bofur gave his cousin a wink before speaking.  “He wants me to compliment you, my lady.  He has not seen such beauty in a lass before.” 

 

Bifur’s mouth fell open for a moment before he quickly started speaking.  The woman seemed a bit shocked at first, but then blushed bright red.  “Oh, my.  Thank you, master dwarf.”  She said, looking at Bifur.  He could only turn and look at her smile.  “That is very kind of you.” 

 

Bifur nodded before turning back to Bofur.  “ _You have had your fun you arse, now tell her what I really said!  I would rather get my wood and go!_ ” 

 

“My! My!”  Bofur chuckled.  “Such forwardness, cousin.  But if you insist.  He says he would like to get wood from you.”  Bofur winked at his dirty joke.  Sure, it was technically what Bifur had said, but the way he had worded it…

 

“Master Dwarf!”  The woman was in shock at such a statement.  Bombur started snickering behind them, trying to hide his laughter, hearing Bofur’s mischief. 

 

“ _You dunce!  Take it back!  I didn’t say that!_ ” 

 

“Oh, he says he apologizes for such forwardness, but never has he been taken with a woman as you.”  Bofur added quickly.  Bifur continued shouting in his ancient language, but Bofur just ignored it.  “I’m so sorry for the trouble, lass.  Perhaps I should be getting him home before he causes too much trouble more.  Tends to get a bit excited around beautiful women.”  Bofur gave her an apologetic smile before grabbing Bifur’s arm and leading him away.

 

“ _You daft arse!  What have you done?!  Where will I get my carvin’ wood from now?  I can’t believe you did that, I can’t believe you said such things!”_   Bifur went on and on, screaming at Bofur, who just listened with a smile until they got to their door. 

 

“Worry not, cousin.  I’ll go back tomorrow and get the carvin’ wood you want.  It was just a bit of fun, can’t blame me for that, can you?” 

 

Bifur wanted to shout and scream at Bofur more, to call him all sorts of insults the ancient language would allow.  But he didn’t.  He looked over and saw the grin of Bombur as he listened in on the conversation.  Ever since they agreed to take this journey, Bombur had been having moments of sadness, at leaving his family and the dangers that lay ahead, so it lightened his heart to see that true smile on Bombur’s face as he packed, instead of the downcast one. 

 

He then looked over to Bofur and saw that other smile, and he sighed. 

 

“ _Fine.  But you do that again, I’ll head butt you with my axe!”_   Bifur gritted out, turning quickly away to hide his own smile. 

 

“I’ll be sure to be on my best behavior from now on, cousin!” 


End file.
